Why Am I Not Sexually Attracted to My Boyfriend?

While your boyfriend definitely mean a lot to you, your love life won’t go so merry if for any reason, you happen to lack sexual attracted for him.

Whether you two just began dating a couple of weeks back or you’ve been in it for a long time, you are still prone to one common relationship problem – A loss of sexual attraction for your partner.

This is quite a puzzling issue. You surely considered him “hot” when you first began to date, didn’t you?

So, what happened? Did you fell out of love for him?

Most probably not.

I bet you still got a lot of love for him as you’ve always had. The thing is, when it gets to the bed, that attraction just seems to cool off, leaving you with little or no sexual attraction for him.

If you battle with this problem, you have to identify the cause of this problem and fix it if you want that awesome relationship you crave for.

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This article will highlight common reasons behind a loss of sexual attraction and some steps you can take to fix it.

Why Am I Not Sexually Attracted to My Boyfriend?

Sexual attraction can be a simple, yet complex thing in a relationship. Simple in the sense that it often comes naturally among couples.

But it can get quite complicated when something goes wrong and disrupts that chemistry which makes you crave for your boyfriend.

At that point, all you want to know is: Why? What exactly’s going on?

Here are some possible reasons why you are not sexually attracted to your boyfriend:

1. There’s a lack of intimacy during sex

What does sex feels like? A chore, routine, daily exercise?

If sex with your boyfriend feels like any of that, that might be the culprit. When there’s a lack of intimacy during sex, your attraction to your boyfriend can begin to fade.

You won’t really feel like getting intimate because the intimacy isn’t even there in the first place. Every bedtime just feels no better than the previous.

Eventually, you’ll find out you aren’t sexually attracted to your boyfriend as you used to.

2. Your sexual needs are not met

Another possible reason you lack sexual attraction to your boyfriend is because your sexual needs are often left unmet.

If you’re often left unsatisfied after each sex, sex would begin to feel like a waste of time and energy.

For sex to be healthy and wholesome, both partners are supposed to be fully satisfied at the end of it. This way, they’ll enjoy the process, and look forward to the next.

3. You’re stressed out

Your lack of sexual attraction for your boyfriend might not necessarily originate from sex or any other aspect of your ready.

It might be a result of the stress you get from work or other activities. External stressors is one of the common causes of strains im relationships.

After a day filled with so many strenuous activities such as shopping, cooking, and other house chores, you might be so tired at the end of the day that the only thing you want to do is crash on the bed and sleep.

If your day is one choked up with too many chores or other causes of stress, that could be the reason you’re less attracted to your boyfriend sexually.

4. You have some unresolved conflicts

Conflicts in interests and opinions occur all the time in every relationship. When they do, do you hold on to them? Are you holding on to any currently?

You might have to pause for a moment and search your mind. If you have some lingering anger, hurt, or resentment towards your boyfriend for a conflict you had some time ago, it can disrupt several things in your relationship.

These negative emotions could cause you to be less attracted to your boyfriend sexually or in any way at all. Settling unresolved conflicts will go a long way in helping you regain your attraction to your boyfriend.

5. Your boyfriend changed

Changed?

Yeah, your boyfriend might have had a recent change in behavior or physical appearance and that’s what’s causing you to shy away from sex with him.

Guys tend to put effort into being nice and sweet at the beginning of every relationship, and that’s the problem.

When the relationship has progressed quite well, they may begin to abandon those sweet characters they displayed at the beginning, often making them less romantic.

Speaking of physical changes, subtle changes in certain physical characteristics like body fat and youthfulness can equally contribute to a decrease in his handsomeness, making him less attractive to you.

What Can You Do If You’re Not Sexually Attracted to Your Boyfriend?

Knowing why you’re aren’t sexually attracted to your boyfriend is just one half of the equation. To have a healthy and wholesome relationship, you have to take steps to fix the problem.

Here are some suggestions to help you get more sexually attracted to your boyfriend:

1. Spend more time together

Try spending more time with your boyfriend. Everything does not always have to be about sex.

Engage him in sweet conversations, tell him how your day went, take walks together. In short, spend more quality time with each other.

Have a day filled with laughter and chitchats. Believe me, once it’s bed time, you both will crave for each other like crazy.

2. Add some spice

We aren’t talking about some ginger and paprika spice here. By spice, I mean activities that can spice up your relationship, you know, add some more romance to it.

Here are some suggestions you could try out with your boyfriend:

  • Hold hands more often while walking.
  • Kiss him unexpectedly when he least expect it.
  • Dance with him.
  • Lean onto him during movie times.

These are just a few suggestions. Keep your eyes open for any way, I mean any little way you can be more romantic to your boyfriend. Your lack of attraction will fade off pretty quick.

3. Add more activities

Your relationship shouldn’t be a boring, routinous one. Add more activities to it.

You could go cycling together, swimming, hiking, visiting places like the zoo, park, or the beach. All these extra activities will help you both draw really closer to each other.

4. Seek therapy

Don’t really like this one but yeah, if you tried all suggestions and still feel there’s something more to it beyond a simple lack of attraction, you might want to consider seeking therapy.

There are couples therapy and sex therapy which you could go for, both of which will work effectively in this situation.

A therapist can offer valuable support and advice which will help you and your partner communicate more effectively, identify underlying issues, and reignite the spark in your relationship.

Conclusion

Not being sexually attracted to your boyfriend isn’t cool at all. It’s something no one wants in their relationship.

Several reasons such as stress, resentment, and lack of intimacy can contribute to a low sexual attraction among couples.

Therefore, waste no time in taking practical steps to correct any issues in your relationship and draw you closer you your boyfriend and you both will enjoy that sweet, romantic relationship you’ve always dreamt of.

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