Why Do I Have to Beg My Boyfriend to Sleep With Me?

Once again you lay on your side on the bed, staring at your boyfriend’s back as he drifts to sleep.

Your body’s pushing you to make a move, but heck no, you don’t want to do it. You know it’ll end up with you begging him to sleep with you, just like other times.

As you examine the situation you find yourself, there’s just one unanswered question in your mind: Why?

Why don’t your boyfriend seem to be interested in sleeping with you? Why do you have to beg your boyfriend to sleep with you?

If you can’t seem to come up with a logical answer to his strange behavior, follow along with this article as we examine some common reasons why guys might not sleep with their girlfriend, so much that she begs for it.

Let’s find out why.

Is It Normal to Have to Beg Your Boyfriend to Sleep With You?

No, not at all. It is not normal for girls in a relationship to beg their boyfriend to sleep with them.

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Sex is equally enjoyed by both genders, and thus, each partner in a relationship gets their own share of pleasure during sex, not just the girls.

And generally speaking, guys don’t shy away from sex in a relationship. In many cases, they are even more eager than their girlfriend to get below the sheets.

So, when your boyfriend doesn’t make sexual advances to you, leaving you sex-starved and having to beg over and over again, something is definitely not right. And you’ve got to do something about it if you don’t want to carry on that way.

Why Do I Have to Beg My Boyfriend to Sleep With Me?

There are a couple of possible reasons why your boyfriend might not be inclined to sleep with you until you beg him to. Here are some common possibilities:

1. He has a low sex drive

Sex drive, also referred to as libido in medical contexts, is the amount of drive an individual has towards sexual activities.

A person with a high sex drive will tend to desire sex at a much higher frequency than someone who has otherwise.

It could be that your boyfriend has a low sex drive and that’s why he’s less motivated to have sex with you.

You on the other hand, who has a higher libido than him, will definitely be frustrated at his inability to satisfy you. This is in fact, among the leading causes of conflicts among many couples today.

Keep in mind that your level of sex drive is mostly an inborn trait and as such, there’s very little you can do to help your boyfriend.

2. There’s a lack of effective communication

Good communication skills is a very vital skill for every couple. It does the magic in both not only resolving, but also avoiding conflicts in relationships.

Perhaps you both haven’t been so open about your sexual needs. You might have been shying away from verbally expressing how much you’ll love to have more sex than you’re getting.

What would be the result? He might end up being oblivious to the fact that you silently crave for more sex in the relationship.

Getting over your shell and expressing your concerns can do wonders in your relationship much more than you anticipated.

3. He is stressed and tired

Stress is another factor you should consider. The amount of stress your boyfriend receives through the day can have an impact on your relationship either positively or negatively.

If your boyfriend tend to have a stressful day at work or other place during the day, he might end up tired, so tired that the drive to have sex vanishes.

Apart from the stress he gets externally, there’s also the one he gets internally – from the relationship itself.

If your relationship is a hectic type, one filled with so many arguments and hurt feeling here and there, you can’t expect sex to come as naturally and frequently as it would if all was well.

4. There’s a difference in love language

For many, sex is a very important way of expressing love in a relationship. This is not the case for everyone though.

Not everyone see sex as a love language. Some take it too casually, seeing it as a mere fun, and thus, engage in it only when they feel like having some “fun.”

Some, on the other hand, do not even see the point of getting intimate with their partners as long as they’re having a nice time together out of bed.

If your boyfriend doesn’t have a different perception of sex in a relationship from you, he might tend not to sleep with you at times. And it won’t really matter to them, as they don’t see sex of much importance anyway.

5. He fears being inadequate

Not every guy is confident in their love making ability. Some guys aren’t so good in bed, and they know that from previous experience. This makes them have a fear of being inadequate as they feel they might be unable to satisfy their partner.

This could be a reason your boyfriend tends to shy away from sleeping with you. If that’s the case, he’ll likely avoid initiating sex and tend not to respond as expected when you try to.

He might prefer to sleep with you on certain occasions alone, such as when he feels highly in the mood.


When your boyfriend doesn’t want to sleep with you until you beg him to, it can be indeed perplexing and disturbing. Various reasons including stress, low libido, bad communication, and other issues could be behind the problem.

Be making careful observations and opening up to him, you’ll be able to identify the problem in your relationship and fix it as well.

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