Why Do I Hit Myself When I Argue With My Boyfriend? Here’s Why

At several points in every relationship, arguments break out. It could be a little argument over minor issues which lasts for a short time or a full-blowm one which ends up with slamming doors and showers of tears.

When couples have arguments, it can be disturbing to the mind, causing a mix of emotions, at times, resulting in self-harm intentions.

If you find yourself getting so emotional after an argument with your boyfriend, you’re not alone. Several people face this challenge.

In this article, you’ll learn why you feel that way and what you can do to ease your feelings.

Why Do I Hit Myself When I Argue With My Boyfriend?

Hitting yourself when arguing with your boyfriend often happen because you feel really frustrated or too stressed.

In the heat of the moment, it could be hard to say what you feel, and that might make you hit yourself.

When things get super emotional, hitting yourself might be like a natural reaction because it’s tough to handle those strong feelings. It shows that dealing with your emotions in that moment is a bit tricky.

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In short, handling those big feelings in the moment is tough. It’s like your body reacting to all the emotions that are going on inside. And it’s just out of control.

Should You Hit Yourself When You Argue With Your Boyfriend?

The simple answer is No. Hitting yourself when you argue with your boyfriend isn’t a healthy or helpful way to cope with strong emotions.

That’s because doing so doesn’t solve the problem and can make you feel worse. It’s a reaction to strong emotions, but there are healthier ways to handle those feelings.

Expressing yourself calmly, taking a break when needed, or seeking support from others can lead to better communication and understanding.

Hitting yourself doesn’t address the root of the issue and might end up creating additional problems in relationships.

What Can You Do About It?

If you find yourself always hitting yourself during arguments, try these steps:

First, take a deep breath when overwhelmed, express your feelings using simple words, and consider taking a break to cool down.

Identify specific triggers causing intense emotions, and seek support from friends, family, or a therapist.

Learn healthy coping strategies like mindfulness or physical activities and learn to reflect on your reactions and explore alternative ways to respond.

Communicate clear boundaries with your boyfriend about acceptable behavior during disagreements. If the issue persists, consider relationship counseling for improved communication.

Remember, changing habits takes time, so be patient and focus on making small, positive changes in how you handle emotions and conflicts with your boyfriend.


Hitting yourself during arguments with your boyfriend is a sign of underlying emotional challenges.

To successfully deal with it, you have to take the time to understand yourself, practice healthier communication, and seeking support when necessary.

This will help keep your emotions in check and help foster a strong and resilient connection with your partner.

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